Things seem to be stablizing… falling into place… almost as if I’m begining to get the hang of this, rather than having things slip through my fingers.
reaching equilibrium, althoguh I suspect there’s still a term (or more?) missing, but at least for now, I don’t have to feel out of balance.
I usually try to avoid ™ soapy posts… and this may seem random, although it actually isn’t, really.
But I guess I should say this. Thank you, God, for my parents. Thank you mum and pap. For being understanding. For raising me the way you did. For being God-fearing, and teaching me that. For letting me pursue what interests me. For unconditional love, in every sense. And more.
Just got back from the (Taiping) MYF Camp a few days ago. It was at the Methodist Bungalow at Fraser’s Hill. They got Ps. Daniel Singh to speak again, heh. This camp is much different that the first (Taiping) MYF camp I went to… Feels like I’ve finally blended in. Perhaps it’s just a mindset change on my part. Personally, I think it is a bit more than that… And I believe God ’showed himself’ even more this time round.
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It’s something that’s been ‘knocking on my door’ since the (Taiping) Church Family Camp few weeks ago. Since first sem last year… I’ve been pretty nominal as a Christian. Just doing the minimal… Go to church on Sundays – most of them anyway… Leave fast. Stay out of CG. Compromise what I shouldn’t. Let my values drift too much. Didn’t talk to Him much…
But (as it usually goes) there were some things that Ps. Daniel Singh said during the talks… that, as they say, seem to just cut to the heart. And finally I stopped ignoring the knocking…
Time for change…
Deo adiuvante I will…
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all
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Here’s a video I managed to make during the camp, on an old laptop, with a little under 512MB of RAM, which Adobe Photoshop and Premier Pro refuses to install on, using only Windows Movie Maker and ffmpeg, and without a mouse…
after what I’ve gotten used to… it was quite painful. But here it is.
…or truth of love?
there was a time (not really that long ago) that I felt that “the truth” at all cost was the way to go. Someone once told me, “when you argue with us, sometimes we have nothing to say – like you backed us into a corner.” I rejected what they said – sometimes even what they felt. And I thought that was a good – because I thought it only meant that I had thought my argument through. That I made more sense than them. That I was just being logical. They had no real reason. No real basis.
But after getting a flavour of my type of medicine, I think that maybe… just maybe, I wasn’t entirely right. I remember reading something in one of Adrian Plass’ books… the first time a little girl brings a drawing to you, do you say, “That’s nice! Did you draw that all by yourself?” or do you say, “I sorry Hannah – It’s just some random lines and scribblings… but good try, good try…” Is that not the truth?
Should we immediately deny feelings just because we think they’re unjustified?
Is it always wise to “expose the truth” no matter what?
love of truth… or truth of love?
I usually try not to blog “song posts”… but…
Who here among us has not been broken
Who here among us is without guilt or pain
So oft’ abandoned by our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like thisThere are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but hallelujah
There are no orphans of GodCome ye unwanted and find affection
Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy, you are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like thisO blessed Father, look down upon us
We are Your children, we need Your love
We run before Your throne of mercy
And seek Your face to rise above- Orphans of God (Avalon)
[Seems like it's always when I'm supposed to be busy, I blog...]
Found an old quiz that I created way back… back in those days when those “How well do you know me quizes” were popular. 20 questions… I decided to take my own quiz… (see how well I know myself?)
well… I got scored 90%… kinda sad… considering I created that quiz… I guess things change…
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A really really old IMYF/MYF camp theme song… (Winnie, Daryl, Alan & company… Do you know this song?)
Standing in Your presence
Lord, my heart and life are changed
Just to love You and to live to
See Your beauty and Your grace(Chorus)
Heaven and earth cry out Your name
Nations rise up and see Your face
And Your kingdom is established
As I live to know You more
Now I will never be the same
Spirit of God, my life You’ve changed
And I’ll forever sing Your praise
I live to know You, Lord…
I live to know You, Lord.You’ve called me, I will follow
Your will for me, I’m sure
Let Your heart beat be my heart’s cry,
Let me live to serve Your call(to chorus)
It’s been a long road getting from there to here… Have I forgotten?
Trackback: The “meaning” (joshuatj)
Win-win… Always strive to get a win-win situation. Sounds like a good thing. Don’t compromise. Yeap. But I don’t know why I keep feeling resistance towards the idea. Perhaps it’s my own baggage. Perhaps… hmm… I dunno. Maybe I just think that the world is too corrupted for that to happen more often than not. I guess it also depends a lot on what you mean by ‘win’. Strange how I seem to react against pure unadulterated… zeal… anything that seem idealistic. Solutions made by humans never seem to be ever ‘complete’.
It’s never easy…
If everyone has planks in their eyes, who can remove other people’s dust? Everyone boasts. Everyone lies. Everyone gets lazy. Everyone is avoidably late sometimes. Everyone has their personality defects. No, that doesn’t make it alright… But still… Yeah, no one is good but God. So how? From everyone’s view everyone else has defects. Can there be a truly objective viewpoint, aside from God’s view? Holy man? Most people I know (including myself) are usually just holey – full of holes…
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viewpoints… history… can it ever be complete, fair and objective? Given that your final product will still be only 8 minutes long… If you’re gonna talk about an ‘honest’ production… in the end choices still need to be made on what should be included or excluded. Compressing 2 hours into 8 minutes… it’s not gonna be an ‘honest’ production either way… In the end, is there any use for the extra work given to the people? Is it justified to ask them to work unnecessarily? Are those raw clips worth it? Will you ever look at those clips again? Those are open questions… and different people will respond differently.
Given unlimited resources, including and especially time and man power, by all means…
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I think in most situations it’s good to ‘work your worth’. It goes both ways. Don’t be lazy… don’t do unnecessary work. But what about benefiting others? Blessing others? That’s has got to be a good thing. Can we break free of our ’selfishness’? Shouldn’t we all sell all that we don’t need, our laptops, our air-cons, our expensive clothes, our ‘toys’… Shouldn’t we just spend all our time serving others? Just take and do what we need to survive for ourselves… give the rest away to those who need it more than we do. Why would we spend so much on ourselves for what are just luxuries in the eyes of eternity?
Is this how we were designed to live?
(sieh jin and anyone else… no need to apologize for insanely long comments… heh…)
Dance
as though no one is watching you.
Love
as though you have never been hurt before.
Sing
as though no one can hear you.
Live
as though heaven is on earth.
Inspirational Quotes… but this one seems to scare me a little.
Dance as though no one is watching you? Prancing around may sound fun… but with people around? Of course the fact that I regularly get “flashbacks” of awkward and difficult moments from eons ago doesn’t help. Maybe that’s why I sometimes like to retreat and (especially) avoid “party” games… It somehow stresses me out… is this normal? Other people seem to think those games are fun… (I have to admit, once in a blue moon games are good for me. Like the time I though I would be an obstacle.)
I guess this does affect the way I worship as well. I certainly don’t mind lively worship, in fact I definitely prefer it to the more “solemn” ones. But the moment you force or expect me to jump and “display my liveliness”… well, that’s when you’ve made it more difficult for me to worship freely. Ironic, isn’t it? I usually prefer to worship more quietly, even in the midst of a lively crowd… (which is also ironic, since I’m supposed to be an electric guitarist…)
Ok, I got quite off point… (as if I had a point) But generally, yeah, I like being introverted… unless I’m among few people whom I know well. Perhaps I should try to be more… “sporting”? But I never seem to be able to shake the flashbacks.
ah well. I’ll go sleep now.
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