productivity

I don’t like the man who doesn’t sleep, says God.

Sleep is the friend of man,

Sleep is the friend of God.

Sleep is perhaps the most beautiful thing I have created.

And I myself rested on the seventh day. …

But they tell me that there are men

Who work well and sleep badly.

Who don’t sleep.

What a lack of confidence in me.

I don’t like the man who doesn’t sleep, says God.
Sleep is the friend of man,
Sleep is the friend of God.
Sleep is perhaps the most beautiful thing I have created.
And I myself rested on the seventh day. …
But they tell me that there are men
Who work well and sleep badly.
Who don’t sleep.
What a lack of confidence in me.

– Charles Peguy

Also, the irony of posting this at this hour.

point of most change

Let’s say I can go back in time once and influence a change in my own personal history by changing one of your “shaky decisions” or “chance event”.
Goal: Make one change that will change the most things about your life today.

Let’s try… “decision to go to rag area as a rag helper” and change it to “continue playing freespace in room.”

• Would not have met Joshuatj
• Would not have been in EW IBG Ops
• However, would most likely have join Computer Comm at CCA week, resulting in contact with Old Man 1.0 and 2.0 as well as jj anyway

So… not really much change.

Maybe we try “the Eusoff server blows up because of an old UPS”

• Would not have learnt to reinstall a server
• Would not have michael.ew.local’s first incarnation
• Would probably have started experimenting with servers in year 2 after moving the server into the new room — if mega comm structure continued. Otherwise, one skill set would be missing, but that’s it.

Not really significant either…

Let’s go further back instead…

Can I change “Attempt to apply to NUS and NTU” to “Just make do with local unis/colleges”? Maybe… in this case I can’t predict how things would be… I’ll probably be in Uni of Nottingham studying Electrical Engin or in Inti doing something electrical or computing.

So, very significant change… but “attempt to apply to NUS & NTU” isn’t really a shaky decision….

but… talking to Kelvin was what brought me to NUS and especially Eusoff Hall… so if I can eliminate Kelvin…

Lets change “decided to join ACS Band” to “did not join ACS Band”. Then:

• Majority of contact with Kelvin eliminated. (along with Jeffrey, Tiang, Christopher Ling, and possibly even otter and penguin?)
• Chance of applying to NUS? still quite high…. but chance of applying for Eusoff goes down and I would likely have applied to Temasek or Shears.
• Temasek being still largely a sports only hall, may not have accepted my application… Shears…. this one not sure… but if both failed, I’m quite sure Eusoff would still have been a choice due to location…

Also, I’m not sure “decided to join ACS Band” was really a shaky decision… (can’t really remember now, though…)

So… not really sure I can change the outcomes so much…

hmm…

cow head

and I wonder why sometimes I’m “afraid” of those people. and I wonder why the nation is so fuged up.

Protected: pause and reflect…

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drives and “much effort”

Drives

reasons, motivations, intentions;
responsibility alone isn’t enough, but -
could it be a start?
what’s my reason for this season?

emotion, sincerity, empathy;
been handed this position, but -
could i have the same drives, intentions and goals?
where’s my passion for this season?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

“much effort”

Is burn-out at so fast a rate normal for this? Or is that why you asked them to have their reasons to be doing what they’re doing? Fire refines ore, but too hot a furnace for too long doesn’t get you pure metal either, does it?

Occasionally I wonder if this is another one in my long list of missed opportunities. I guess I can say I have experienced “much effort” before, but likely not at such “impulse” (intensity over time). In any case, I simply just can’t imagine myself in it, and this blocking fear was never overcome enough for me to ever find out or even consider it. Well, I guess I’ll just observe, as I used to do, and am used to doing.

legalism

“…the handshake means nothing.”
(well, it was something along that line anyway)

How is it that, supposedly among friends, it has to come to this? Chalk it up to miscommunication? Or simply just avoidance? (inaction leading to misaction) I know at least one who’ll put it under the umbrella of bad leadership.

At any rate, it’s sad that it has to come to this.

- – - -

The annual headache has began… This year the topic is “more injustice”. Sigh… but first we have to find the source of the injustice. I have a feeling it is not as straightforward as we’ll like it to be. Life doesn’t seem to like to give nice black and whites… only greys.

Attached with the annual headache… is the annual “people leaving hall” event. sigh. Perhaps the leading cause of senioritis is the annual headaches.

freedom of choice

btw, although it’s late, but still – Happy New Year! There was some trouble with my blog where I couldn’t post anything on and near the new year, but better late than never.

[ ----------------------- ]

I’ve been hearing a bit about a movement in the US to legally ban homosexual marriages – mainly through some of the comics I read. (It’s called Proposition 8, I think…) I’m sort of still thinking through, and I’m not sure yet whether, as Christians, we should be for or against such a thing. 

I believe that a Bible believing church should not condone a same sex marriage/relationship, but that isn’t really the issue here. Is “banning” something like same sex marriages on religious grounds the right way to go in terms of free will and freedom of choice?

I was trying to imagine a situation where I might be somewhat in their shoes. Let’s say a law is passed in Malaysia: All women are required to wear tudung – regardless of their religion. Why? “Because a women who is not wearing a tudung is not being modest in Islam.” Would this be acceptable?

Is this situation and prop 8 comparable?

(sieh jin, no need to apologize for long comments)

laetitia

“People like you… may not earn a lot in future, but you’ll be happy doing your thing in your own corner” – a teacher

“If all you are good at is working, then you’ll always be working under someone who earns more because he can [lead people].” – an advisor

Another one of those fine lines?

Money isn’t everything. In fact, I’d like to think it doesn’t have a high importance for me. But I’ll be lying if I said money is nothing. God does provide, but He also says, “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” No, earning money isn’t the problem. Loving money above all, that is the problem. But in the end, what would I be happier with? What would fulfill my ‘calling’ better, whatever it is?

I guess now is the time to learn more and explore, despite my negative ‘natural instinct’ to taking any kind of leadership. (I guess comfortably taking orders is always more… comfortable.) In any case, it is only a tiny step up, and that does make it easier. Anyway, like I told someone a while back, if you’re gonna screw up, better now than when you’re in the “big bad world.”

ladies & gents…

this is us…

and this is our neighbor…

Do notice how in our parliament, the Malaysian parliament, how proper manners are used. How formal titles and names are used to address each other. How they speak in turn. A proper parliamentary session. Indeed, there’s no comparing to our neighbor.

I so love my country. Our newly elected leaders just inspire me to have full confidence in them to lead my country.

- – - – - – - – - -

A common problem with bloggers blogging politics is that bloggers never provide any solutions and only complain. I really really do wish I could suggest something, but as most of you know, I’m pretty bad with little children.

love of truth…

…or truth of love?

there was a time (not really that long ago) that I felt that “the truth” at all cost was the way to go. Someone once told me, “when you argue with us, sometimes we have nothing to say – like you backed us into a corner.” I rejected what they said – sometimes even what they felt. And I thought that was a good – because I thought it only meant that I had thought my argument through. That I made more sense than them. That I was just being logical. They had no real reason. No real basis.

But after getting a flavour of my type of medicine, I think that maybe… just maybe, I wasn’t entirely right. I remember reading something in one of Adrian Plass’ books… the first time a little girl brings a drawing to you, do you say, “That’s nice! Did you draw that all by yourself?” or do you say, “I sorry Hannah – It’s just some random lines and scribblings… but good try, good try…” Is that not the truth?

Should we immediately deny feelings just because we think they’re unjustified?

Is it always wise to “expose the truth” no matter what?

love of truth… or truth of love?