Protected: pause and reflect…

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echos from the book of faces

so right, who’s gonna be in Sitiawan this next 2 to 3 weeks?

drives and “much effort”

Drives

reasons, motivations, intentions;
responsibility alone isn’t enough, but -
could it be a start?
what’s my reason for this season?

emotion, sincerity, empathy;
been handed this position, but -
could i have the same drives, intentions and goals?
where’s my passion for this season?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

“much effort”

Is burn-out at so fast a rate normal for this? Or is that why you asked them to have their reasons to be doing what they’re doing? Fire refines ore, but too hot a furnace for too long doesn’t get you pure metal either, does it?

Occasionally I wonder if this is another one in my long list of missed opportunities. I guess I can say I have experienced “much effort” before, but likely not at such “impulse” (intensity over time). In any case, I simply just can’t imagine myself in it, and this blocking fear was never overcome enough for me to ever find out or even consider it. Well, I guess I’ll just observe, as I used to do, and am used to doing.

completion

It’s finally over. The near endless stream of work is finally begining to see it’s end. For the past two weeks all I was trying to do was to just to get it over with. Now, it’s finally over… and i feel… relief, yes… but also a tinge of sadness. Like saying goodbyes to a friend, perhaps?

If I was given the choice to reverse my decision to join this organisation, would I still have joined? Quite possibly… It wasn’t easy, and I did “sacrifice” certain things (stemming mainly from my lack of self-management). But the journey was… something.
 
I think I did get more or less a bit of what I wanted to achieve by joining this organisation — To try something on a new level. To challenge myself to contribute to something… bigger. So now, thank God it’s done, but it’s still a journey that, I guess, was quite worth taking.

what the

hell am I doing here?

good question.

———————————————-

where am i?
what the hell am i doing?
dust has only just begun to fall
result slips on my laptop
sinking feeling

slap me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can’t be happening
when “busy” lives a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
grades and lingering excuses
all those years
i just don’t learn

bloody marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover
the sweeping insensitivity of this “busy” life

hide and seek
grades and lingering excuses (oh, would you catch me around here?)
blood and tears (hearts)
i just don’t learn

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it’s just what we need
who decided this?
whatcha say?
Mmmm what do you say?

appreciation

I usually try to avoid ™ soapy posts… and this may seem random, although it actually isn’t, really.

But I guess I should say this. Thank you, God, for my parents. Thank you mum and pap. For being understanding. For raising me the way you did. For being God-fearing, and teaching me that. For letting me pursue what interests me. For unconditional love, in every sense. And more.

PR

Never really liked dealing with external relations and negotiations… and I still don’t.

Damn, I wish old old man would still be around.

Tag from James

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Feeling a bit boh liao after exams… so… I’ll entertain a tag from james.

1. Bau
2. Tze
3. Josh (Lim)
4. Mich
5. jlee
6. joshuatj
7. Katherine
8. Li2azw
9. yx
10. rcyl

1. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
James? He’s a good long-time friend

2. Who is No. 7 having relationship with?
katherine> she ah? no one… yet… I think.

3. Who is No. 9 having relationship with?
yx> His girlfriend, Chuang Ning.

4. If No. 9 & 1 are together, will it be a good thing?
Bau + yx> Nope… I just don’t think thatcould ever work out…

5. What about No. 1 & 5?
Bau + jlee> ahh… we know that didn’t work out.

6. What is No. 3 studying?
josh (lim)> Psyc, at UTAR.

7. When was the last time you chatted with No. 6?
joshuatj> Uh, one or two hours ago.

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Li2azwI!S,,nle,?1xvj!’9xy!{4G79!Oo

10. How about No. 4?
Mich> That might be a bit incesteous…

11. Does No. 2 have any siblings?
Tze> Yes, one brother, one sister.

12. How did you get to know about No. 3?
Josh (Lim)> IMYF and school

13. No.4?
Mich> IMYF Camp, then ICQ…

14. No.7?
Katherine> EusoffWorks, IT member, and soon, IT Director.

15. No.2?
Tze> Happened to sit next to him in class…

16. where does No. 1 live at?
Bau> Sitiawan, or during semester, at SMU, otherwise, at Woodlands.

17. How did you get to know No. 10?
rcyl> Also EusoffWorks. Joined together. Wait… he was also in my orientation group.

18. Is No. 5 the sexiest person in the world?
jlee> I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it may be used against me whichever way I answer…

post exams destress…

So far, it’s just been L4D. I’ll probably add a trip near Bugis, Sim Lim, some food, and a Star Trek Movie…

Csj Qa… =)

It’s nice to finish exams.

Macs and Geeks?

This post is a little overdue, but here it is anyway…

Joshua(tj) has finally succumbed to the need to buy a laptop… and after searching and researching, this hardline PC user has finally settled on a…

No kidding… a MacBook.

So anyway, he’s still getting used to it, finding his way around. And whenever I try to use his laptop, I also get that noobish feeling… Constantly forgetting where the close window button is… having trouble navigating… having trouble typing… After all, I’ve spent pretty much all my time in Windows and Linux… Macs are different creatures.

There was something that was familiar though… felt right at home after I found it…

 

Mac OS X Terminal

ls? yes, a response! cd? yes… grep, ifconfig, vim? yes… finally! something I know how to use…

All that advance technology put into the GUI… and I use a console terminal.

- – - – - – - -

Exams around the corner again… sigh. same old, same old. H ongd H snm’c lcnn redlxk ns zrso hjdrrslz mfzzh.